My Thoughts On The (Fake) War On Christmas

Like many Americans, I’m getting tired of the annual Right-Wing based pity party concerning Christmas. Every year talking heads, pundits, and Joe six-pack America regale us with horror stories about how businesses, organizations, and even other Americans are no longer saying “Merry Christmas” and opting for “Happy Holidays” instead, because we all know that the ONLY holiday worthy of mention this time of year is Christmas. Never mind that Jewish, Islamic, Pagan, and other faith traditions’ holidays sometimes occur this time of year, the only one worthy of mention is the Christian one. As far as the Right is concerned, non-Christian Americans can take a long walk off a short pier this time of year, as there can only be one….Holiday that is.

As such, each and every freaking year since the Right realized that the country was getting more and more diverse, we’ve had to endure this or that manufactured controversy involving the helpless Christian majority in this 75 percent Christian majority country. Never mind that television, stores, companies, the media, and others constantly bombard Americans, regardless of their faith or beliefs, with imagery promoting Christmas, we are told that there is a war against Christmas and that it’s so important that if we don’t pay attention Christmas could disappear and be lost forever!

Now those Americans with an ounce of common sense and more than a third grade education see this madness as the foolishness that it is, but onward Christmas warriors they march, with ugly sweaters and eggnog in tow anyway!

Usually I ignore these fanciful tales of Christmas vanishing and laugh at the headlines from this or that darling of the Right as I watch A Christmas Story, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and the many variations of A Christmas Carol for the gazillionth time. Even as I browse circular after circular and ad after ad promoting this or that Christmas sale with the ever constant reminder of how many days I have left until Christmas, I marvel at the ability of some to actually proclaim that there is such a war. When we get to the point where we are now debating the skin color of the imaginary good ole, jolly Saint Nick, however, somebody should pull the plug on crazy and admit we have truly entered silly season.

As a Muslim American and a parent, I find it extremely difficult to sympathize with those of you who truly believe there is a war on Christmas. Give me a break! The day you have to converse with your children why you don’t celebrate someone else’s holiday regularly for an entire month year in and out, then you can talk to me about difficulty and wars this holiday season. When you are constantly asked over and over by strangers, co-workers, and other well meaning people about your Christmas shopping, wishes, plans, etc. or asking your children in front of you what they hope Santa gets them, even though you didn’t offer to be part of the conversation and the questions are asked with the assumption that everyone must celebrate, then you might have a bone to pick with someone. But to whine every year and then to start with this Santa crap while your holiday is force fed down every American’s throat regardless of their beliefs or thoughts on the matter, makes these Christmas crusaders worse than the Grinch himself because they’re stealing the joy out of an otherwise pleasant experience.

That said, Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays, does it really matter? We all know that in America Christmas is king anyway and we all know what Holiday people are wishing others to be happy on. It sure as heck isn’t Kwanza!

Santa is white….that’s the allegation and the “debate” thanks to one of Fox’s own, surprise, surprise, and guess what? Santa isn’t real and I thought he was supposed to be an elf anyway? So maybe he’s green?

Now what really IS interesting this year during the latest salvo in this decades long “war” is the “other” controversy our friend at Fox, Megyn Kelly brought up and that the media has seemed to run away from like the plague. It was her comments about someone who isn’t a made up character at all (well to many anyway).

Megyn Kelly not only proclaimed from her high throne of ignorance in the ivory Fox tower that Santa was white and we should accept this, she also said that Jesus, you know the guy for whom the Christ part in Christmas is named, is also white and we should just deal with this as “fact”. OK, I can give her a pass on the Santa comment more or less, because I don’t really care that deeply about fictional elves who catch all the Black Friday and Christmas sales in order to go through the trouble doing mom and dad a solid on Christmas Eve delivering all those purchases to all the good little Christian boys and girls one night on their super, Hemi and reindeer powered sled.

However, concerning Jesus the Christ, I find it remarkable that not only in this day and age with all the technology we have at our finger tips that people still believe Jesus likely resembled a Woodstock attendee, but that no one including the media has the guts in 2013, to correct this error or at a minimum, have a real discussion on the this whole Jesus is white myth. It would be comical if it weren’t so sad, because it’s so painfully obvious how the entire media is at simultaneously mocking Megyn Kelly’s Santa comments and making it a thing, but going out their way to not touch the Jesus remarks with a 10 foot pole. I wonder why?

Could it be that the real issue with Megyn Kelly’s comments were that in this supposed new America that her remarks wreaked of arrogance, ignorance, and white supremacy? Maybe her comments hit America’s faux post-racial nerve center and was just real enough to remind us that the ugliness of racial supremacy even with something as silly as Santa is real, alive, and ready to kick us in our collective jugular at a moments notice? I wager that is what happened and why this Santa “controversy” is a thing now. Megyn Kelly dared vocalize what many in America feel and it had to be stopped, ridiculed, and minimized immediately. They even got her to pretend it was a joke and not to be taken seriously. It was a joke alright, an inside joke.

But why I ask again was Jesus ignored? Maybe it was because Jesus is always ignored during Christmas, I mean let’s be honest, outside of a few songs and the few people who still go to church on Christmas, most Americans only care about the stuff they get, food, and parties. Most American children know more about Santa, his elves, reindeer, and Frosty than they do about Jesus and the whole reason such a holiday even exists, and no it’s not to see if you’ve got a new iPhone or XBox One under the tree. I don’t happen think it was the usual reasons that the Jesus portion of her comments were ignored though. I believe they were ignored because if the media had the courage they would actually ignite a war on Christmas and it wouldn’t be one dealing with trivial matters concerning fat guys in red suits, but with the hearts and minds of Americans and many in the West in general.

Talking too much about Jesus this time of year in general, would force people to look at their decadent behavior and for the actual Christians, remind them of how far they have fallen from the true teachings of Jesus and the entire reason the holiday was placed on top of a pagan holiday in the first place: to celebrate Christ’s birth, life, ministry, teachings, etc. and to ultimately call more people into belief of that religion. However, most now worship trees, lights, and stuff. So if the media talked about Jesus too much during Christmas, they’d have to answer to their corporate sponsors who don’t want people practicing their religion and giving their cash to the church, charities, and the poor. All that perfectly good cash in their minds would be better served in the pockets of the wealthy so they can use it to buy their families luxurious gifts instead. Ironic isn’t it?

Furthermore, all that Jesus talk especially about his race would call into question why he was made to look like a white guy in the first place and then we’d have to trudge up all that ugly history and who wants to talk about oppression, slavery, white supremacy, and other atrocities, when there’s so many sales and Christmas parties to go to? I mean if we had to acknowledge that there’s no way in the world Jesus was white, then we’d have to talk about why those in power felt it was important to make him white, then we’d have to talk about religion overall, and how rampant this concept of everything good and holy being painted white is a thing and has been for centuries. Also we might have to discuss why in 2013 with all our information, we persist in the same old falsehood of portraying Jesus as a white guy in images, film, and television when we should know better and do the right thing. In other words we’d have some serious explaining and talking to do and who wants to do that when we can get a bunch of things we don’t need, get drunk, and have a good time?

Merry Christmas I guess…